birthdays

Today, I realized one thing. That I am a little ungrateful of the life I spend every year. Not too far from now, I will celebrate another birthday and I have no idea how to spend it. Every year, I take my birthday for granted, I think I just slept once through it, I'm not sure. And now, this ungrateful approach on birthdays needs a lift. I should do something at least slightly memorable because to date, I haven't had that very memorable birthday celebration. I always do it rather meekly and thought it's just another reminder of my not so wonderful life. Even my sweet sixteenth was only vaguely special because a lot of the people I care about didn't even make it. I know, it sucks but to me, year after year, it is starting to wear off because the more I think of how un-special it is, the less I feel happy. It is ironic how I want other people's birthday to be special but I treat mine only sullenly.

So today I want to refresh and reload and take a look at the almost memorable ones and feel thankful.

• 1st Birthday -
  (I am the girl pictured above wearing yellow and sitting pretty with my lola and cousins)
  This event is special because everyone spends a baby's first birthday happily. Although I don't remember much of it mainly because I didn't know a lot from then, (duh) I think I was really happy. Babies love to be adored.
  
• 7th Birthday - In the Philippines, 7th birthdays should be celebrated grandly for some reason. I'm not particularly sure why but most kids I knew then celebrated theirs with clowns, mascots, parties and the shiz. Mine wasn't really that special but I had a party where I invited some of my "friends" from first grade. I had pink balloons and I wore stockings with pink maryjanes, floral dress with a pink shirt inside. Eew. My mom loved pink and made me think I love it too. I also remember this one very clearly because my mom did the weirdest game ever where a string was tied on everyone's waist and the other end goes dangling on the floor tied to an egg. You get a partner and you have to break the egg by thrusting your hips to and fro and let each one's eggs bump into each other. (that sounded weird) First to smash both eggs wins.
• 13th Birthday -
  (Pictured with my mom)
  In almost all my birthdays, my mom threw parties only to my immediate relatives. Good thing I am closely bonded with my cousins. Besides, I didn't know how to party then, how would I throw one to my cool friends? But I think I did on my 3rd Birthday (?) to my classmates in baby nursery. (I went to school at 2 1/2) My 13th was special to me because it was a mark of teen-hood: I grew taller than my mom, I started hanging out with my best friends and was going under that awkward puberty stage.
  
• 16th Birthday - I had this out-of-the-blue-party because my mom thought it should be special. I remember I didn't really want to throw a party but my mom said I should so we did. I invited my friends from high school, my mom's friends and my relatives. This one's almost great but there were some major issues. Like not all my friends and relatives were present which is understood since the party was a bit rushed.

I think these ones are the best so far. They're not the best best but at least they were special to me. I didn't have a party on my 18th because of some complications, (Haha) but I am planning on throwing one hopefully on my 21st when I become legal anywhere on the planet. This year, let me see.

But above all these, I should be happy.