i can't fool myself

In case you notice, I have been trying my very best to change the mood of my gloomy blog by writing fun thoughts and the like. But you can’t stop the thoughts from flowing. I am just so pleased that I can really release everything inside my head through a journal. I may burst any minute if my life passes by without a journal.

I’m sorry to write this. I’m really sorry. But I really AM sad today. Sad. That word bothers me so often. Sometimes, I want to leave. Away from everyone. Away from all the people I know. I want to kill myself for always feeling this way. I don’t want to feel this. I really don’t. But the feeling of loneliness haunts me. I know the efforts of the people surrounding me just to make me feel appreciated. I don’t know. But sometimes they aren’t enough to fill the void. I want to escape. I thought everything’s easy. But it’s not. It really isn’t. Things like come to me and go.

Why do people leave anyway?...

This is actually embarrassing. I am just writing everything away. Everything inside my head. I don’t care if they do not give any sense at all.

I want to get a plane ticket and leave. And grab a new life. It has been always like this. Me. Alone. Without anyone. Or fooled by someone. Left alone.